Saving Sex for Marriage

A few days ago, I had the opportunity to converse with a couple of ladies that opened up about the area of sexuality. Both of them shared about the impact that their past sexual experiences had on their current dating relationships. They shared how their parents never talked to them about sexuality. “No one ever told me about virginity or keeping myself pure for my husband before marriage,” one young lady told me.

On another occasion, a woman shared how she moved out of her house at age fifteen and went to live with her boyfriend. As you can imagine, this continues to have an impact on her spiritual health. These stories are common.

In a perfect world, we would enjoy our first sexual experience with our marriage partner after the wedding. My parents taught this standard to me. Now, this is not the standard in most societies. Children and teenagers are not encouraged to treat their virginity as a treasure. In fact, in many teenage peer groups, virginity is scorned. Although we don’t live in a perfect world, God commands us to obey and be righteous. The Lord is the one we are to please, and He insists that we save sex for the marriage bed.

Hebrews 13:4 states it clearly as do many other verses, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Remember, God is a loving Father that gives us instructions for our own protection and benefit.

Why should we abstain from sex before marriage? What’s the reason God asks us not to have premarital sex? One important reason involves readiness. I was a senior in high school when I learned firsthand what it meant to be pursued by the opposite sex. I went out with my girlfriends and young men on several occasions. But it wasn’t until I turned seventeen that I thought I fell in love with a handsome man that I’d met through friends. This feeling wasn’t love, but more of an infatuation. At the time, it felt so right. Although I would have wanted to pursue a serious relationship with my suitor, there were two big problems. The first issue was that he was a charmer and popular with the girls. The second, and most important problem, was that he didn’t have a relationship with the lover of my soul, Jesus! Nonetheless, the man made every effort to get to know me.

Looking back, I realize that I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. Dating this man would have been a mistake and left me heartbroken. At seventeen, most young women don’t understand the commitment that it takes to have a lasting relationship. I certainly didn’t. Honestly, most teenagers are simply looking to have a good time. Young people don’t realize that their dating habits can have a big impact on future relationships.

Many of the young ladies that I work with have experienced heartbreak and are in the process of restoration. They’ve discovered that Jesus can make them pure again. God is the only one that can make us pure again, and He is in the business of restoring us and making us whole. I encourage you to come to Him and ask for restoration if you’ve been through a heartbreak. Find some people that can speak life to you and help you through this process. Remember, nothing is impossible for God. His love will restore you.